The RPSWSGSDBBPB Project
by Maria Rocket
Summary: A little over a week ago, four gundam pilots and one girlfriend ventured into the cursed Black Woods of the Cinq Kingdom to aid their fallen teammate. They were never seen again. Yesterday, their video footage was found.


The RPSWSGSDBBPB Project

by Maria Rocket

***

(author's notes: I was working on the next chapter of 'Gundam Apocalypse', when I suddenly became sidetracked on another of my projects (as seems to happen a lot with me ^^;). I'd been wanting to write this fic for a long time, but for the first time today, I started going and just kept on going! ^^; I'm not sure what this fic really wants to be, it kept bouncing between weird humor and drama with a little romance sprinkled in, so it's stuck in general. But as ye may have guessed, this is a Blair Witch Project/Gundam Wing crossover type story! ^_^; The grammar, tenses, and decent writing stuff is kinda off and at times nonexistant in this thing, but remember, I had to write this on a shoestring budget. ^^;;; )

***

***

----

Official sounding thing:

*Everything you are about to see is real. Over a week ago, gundam pilot 01, who goes by the name 'Heero Yuy' crashed down in the Black Woods of the Cinq Kingdom in a freak accident. In response, his four teammates, the gundam pilots, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Wufei Chang, and an ex-Oz soldier, Hilde Schbeiker, ventured into the woods to rescue him and repair the fallen Wing Zero gundam. They were never seen again. Yesterday, however, a group of girl scouts found a strawberry jam coated satchel hidden within a cabin they were restoring deep in the Black Woods. How it got there is unknown, but inside were several tapes of video chronicling the last days of the rescue party. Although this case is still under investigation, the footage has been put together for your own consideration. Anyone with additional information regarding this case, please contact the Cinq Kingdom Black Woods police division at #800-1289-2711.*

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[Static breaks suddenly as the view of a handheld color videocamera sways around from looking at a blue carpeted floor, to the rest of a sparsely furnished apartment. The camera pans and wobbles. It settles on Quatre.]

Duo: Is this thing on? [heavy breathing is heard]

Quatre: [Looks up] The red light is blinking!

Duo: Huh? [The camera swings around to an extreme close up of Duo's face as he momentarily checks the light, then it turns around to face Quatre, who is packing some sort of technical equipment into a backpack] Oh! Alright! Smile, Quatre, you're on candid camera!

Quatre: [smiles] 

Wufei: [off camera] Would you stop playing with that thing and help us pack!? 

Duo: Sheesh, the way you guys are acting, you'd think we were going on a week trip! [camera whips around to an irritated looking Wufei] I still don't see why I can't just fly Deathscythe out there and pick up Heero. Even in a forest as big as Cinq Kingdom's Black Woods, a crashed gundam shouldn't be hard to spot.

Quatre: Relena says those woods are protected. No large machinery allowed. [camera moves to Quatre closing his backpack] Strange, I thought she would have helped us more, I thought she cared about Heero. But it was like she didn't want us to find him.

Wufei: [camera pans back over to him] What do you expect, she's a silly woman with no sense.

Duo: [off camera] I still don't see why so many of us hafta go after him. [image of Wufei shakes and the picture blurs] Hey!

[The camera, now it someone else's possession, focuses in on an upset and approaching Duo Maxwell.]

Duo: Hey, that's my camera! 

Trowa: [apparently the current cameraman] We all must all go after Heero, because it will take all of us to carry out the necessary equipment to repair Wing Zero.

Wufei: [muttering off camera] Injustice... Yuy should have watched where he was going! Imagine...crashing a gundam because of an intercepting flock of migrating flamingos.

[Camera settles on Quatre, who is heading towards the door]

Quatre: Hey, those flamingos are dangerous! Well, let's go, the wilderness awaits! [camera pans around wildly, capturing split second shots of a disgusted looking Wufei, a reaching Duo, and an upside down Trowa before breaking into static]

***

[A black and white camera view snaps on, shaking wildly as someone runs after what can be made out to be Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, and Duo walking down the street carrying oversized backpacks]

female voice: Hey, guys! Wait, I'm here!

[The four boys turn to look at the camera in surprise. Duo blinks and smiles widely, breaking past the others to rush the cameraperson. Laughter is heard as the camera suddenly swings around in a very dizzy way, capturing the street, a car, many shots of a flying braid, and the other three pilots looking variously confused and amused.]

Duo: Babe! You made it! [He backs away just far enough to get back into view. He whips out his own camera and looks back at her]

***

[break to color camera view of smiling Hilde holding her own camera and looking back. She's wearing a small satchel.]

Duo: [off camera of course] So you're coming after all? Cool! Maybe we can make this like a documentary, 'The Rescue of the Perfect Soldier Who Somehow Gets Struck Down By Big Pink Birds Project!' [Camera whips away from Hilde to the others]

Wufei: [puts a hand to his temples with a tortured expression] Please, kill me now.

[Camera breaks off into static]

***

[Color camera zooms in on the back of Wufei's head. It then pans down to a Powerpuff Girls keychain swaying from his backpack. Suppressed male and female giggling can be heard.]

Hilde: [whispering off camera] Is that it?

Duo: [whispering off camera and snickering] Yeah. He calls it Nataku...

[More giggling is heard, and suddenly a suspicious Wufei turns his head to look back. The camera quickly turns towards the country houses across the street]

Wufei: [off camera] Would you two stop playing with those childish cameras!?

[Sound of Duo replying, but whatever he's saying is cut off with the camera]

***

[Color camera close up shot of Quatre studying a map in confusion.]

Quatre: I know the woods are around here somewhere...

Duo: [off camera] Hey Quat, why don't we just head over towards those big green leafy things over there? [Duo's arm crosses the shot and points towards the woods towering in the background. Quatre blinks up at Duo and turns to look. He blushes.]

Quatre: Oh, yeah.

Trowa: [off camera] Maybe we--

[Trowa is cut off by the camera switching off and breaking into static]

***

[Black and white camera switches on and pans around a small 7-11. Wufei is standing around chewing gun, Quatre is paying for bottled water, and Trowa is with Duo in the area of the candy aisle. The camera moves over in their direction]

Duo: [turns around and flashes a large pack of skittles at the camera] Taste the rainbow, Hilde! [He winks suggestively then his violet eyes flash as something catches his attention beyond the camera. He dashes out of view.]

[There's some giggling, and the camera pans towards Trowa, who has chosen the watermelon/strawberry Nerds candy. He notices the camera and seems to panic slightly, quickly moving out of view.]

Wufei: [off camera in a rather loud voice] Damn it Maxwell, we are not dragging all those marshmellows into the woods!!! [Camera moves in a blur and switches off]

***

[Color camera switches on. An elderly man is standing outside the 7-11]

Quatre: [barely seen on the side of the camera] C'mon Pagan, please don't give us a hard time. We've gotta go rescue Heero! I thought Relena said it was only illegal to take vehicles in...

Pagan: [speaks brokenly] Yes...well...she told me to... You know...the Black Woods...they're cursed. Yes, I'm here to warn you not to go into the woods, because they're cursed.

[camera shifts slightly and pans further to the side, capturing Quatre's wide eyed bewildered expression.]

Quatre: Uh...excuse me?

Hilde: [off camera] A real cursed wood? Cool!

Trowa: [off camera] What do you mean, cursed, Pagan?

[camera closes in on Pagan, who gives it an odd look. A small click is heard on the side of the camera, and the lighting dims.]

Pagan: Well, the legend is, that back in the ancient colonial days, there was an old woman who lived in this very town who was accused of being a witch. So she was cast off into the woods in the middle of winter to die. No one ever saw her again, and thought she was dead. [A strange darkness formed under Pagan's eyes as if someone had stuck a flashlight under his face. He flinched and turned away slightly.] Err... Yes, until all the childen in the village disappeared one by one, and were never seen again. They say the witch got them all.

Wufei: [off camera yawn] Really now.

Pagan: [sweating from the light] Uh...yes, it's all true! And ever since then, children have occasionally disappeared near the woods. And sometimes their bodies are found with horrific ritualistic carvings in them from the witch's evil ceremonies. 

[At this, the camera begans to shake slightly.]

Pagan: They call her the Cinq Witch, and she's supposed to stalk people who go into the Black Woods, especially children.

[The camera is rattling.]

Hilde: [off camera very quiet whisper] Duo?

Pagan: Sometimes she even possesses people to bring children to her to kill... Particularly unstable minds who venture into her territory are suspectible to becoming serial killers... And if she or one possessed by her catches you, she'll make one wait in the corner of her lair to be killed while she guts the other...

[The camera which is shaking violently, suddenly falls to the pavement with a static inducing crash. All that can be seen is the grey concrete with the occasional shadow passing over it.]

Duo: [off camera and screaming] AAAAAHHHHH!! [The sound of running]

Wufei: [off camera] Maxwell, you damn superstitious coward! Come back here!

Hilde: Duo!!!

[sounds of even more people running and then much screaming and scuffling in the distance.]

Quatre: [off camera sigh] Pagan, who put you up to this?

Pagan: [off camera] It is the honest truth, Master Quatre.

Trowa: [off camera] Hmph. His fingers are cro--

[Camera moves as it is picked up by someone and shuts off in static]

***

[Black and white camera turns on to face a the four pilots walking down another country road, though there are no more houses around. The camera turns towards a pale and nervous looking Duo.]

Hilde: [off camera] Hey, Duo, relax. [hand reaches out and takes that of the braided pilot and squeezes it] Pagan was just trying to scare us. There's no witch out in the woods.

Duo: [turns towards the camera] But Pagan isn't the kind to lie! There's a witch out in those woods, and she likes to disembowel kids like us in evil rituals and carve 'em like pumpkins! [his eyes are wide with fear.]

Trowa: [camera pans out to see him look back at them] Duo, there is no witch. I don't know why, but Pagan was lying to us.

Quatre: [fuzzy audio] Hey, someone's standing out there...

[camera tries to zoom in on Quatre who's in front, then switches off]

***

[Color camera switches on, back on the same country road as before. But now Hilde, Trowa, and Wufei are looking around them in confusion. Quatre is nowhere to be seen, but he can be heard screaming hysterically. A strange blur keeps crossing the shot, jostling the camera at one point.]

Duo: [snickers off camera] I guess we found the witch...

[Quatre's screams cut off suddenly as something skids into the dirt off camera. Then he is heard crying piteously. The camera turns around to see a blonde girl with scary eyebrows on the ground, sitting on Quatre's lap, hugging him so hard he can't move. She has an evil look on her face as Quatre wails.]

Wufei: [off camera] Dorothy! What are you doing out here, you witch woman!?

Dorothy: [stroking poor Quatre's hair] Why, to rescue my dear little Quatre, of course!

Quatre: WAH!!!

Duo: [off camera busts up laughing]

Wufei: [off camera] Evil woman! Tell us your true intentions!

Dorothy: [puts her nose into the air] Well, if you must know, Miss Relena sent me to warn you away from these woods. They're cursed by an evil witch, you know. If you don't turn back now, you'll never get out again. And she'll kill you.

[camera trembles]

Trowa: [off camera, sounding slightly terse] There is no witch, and you know it. What's Relena up to?

Dorothy: Why, she only wishes to spare your lives, as do I. [huggles Quatre more, to the boy's despair.] Did you know that the witch in these woods once killed and mutilated and entire troop of men on a rescue mission, much like yourselves? Indeed, up ahead is the very rock she bound and carved them on. And what's more, the bodies were never recovered, since they mysteriously disappeared right after they were found. So she gets you...[her hand wanders down Quatre's shirt] ...body and soul.

[camera is shaking more]

Quatre: WAAAAHHH!!!!

Hilde: [off camera] Dorothy, would you leave him alone!? There's no witch! Besides yourself, that is. ... Duo, get a grip!

[there is a deep breath, and the camera steadies somewhat]

Dorothy: [scary eyebrows flicker] I know there is a witch. I've seen her myself. Oh yes, I was just a young girl, but I still remember... It was right after the incident where a senator's daughter was pulled into the Black Woods creek...by the ghostly arm of an old woman, and never seen again.

[Dorothy smiles sweetly as the camera goes into jitter fits]

Quatre: WAAAHHH!!!

Dorothy: I was walking along in the woods, reflecting on the glory of war and ice sculpture, when I saw a hairy beast woman crouching in the woods. It floated above me and led me to a dark cabin deep in the forest. I didn't know it then, but that was the very cabin where many of the Cinq witch's victims had been killed by possessed psychopaths. Luckily, I escaped before nightfall somehow. But with such a large moving target such as yourselves, you're just asking to be murdered. 

Wufei: [off camera] Are you sure that wasn't just one of Lady Une's Yeti personalities you met out there?

Dorothy: There was a strong resemblance, but Lady Une can't float in the air. [she looked down at Quatre with a crazed look in her eyes] Don't go into the Black Woods. If you do, you'll all die.

Quatre: [aquamarine eyes huge with mortal fear] WAAAAAHHHH!!! [in a hysterical frenzy,he breaks away from Dorothy, bolting into and past the camera. The camera falls back hard with Duo, getting a screenful of the overcast sky. More Quatre screaming is heard along with much running around.]

Duo: [off camera as the picture falls to an even shot of Hilde's chest] Man, look at 'im run! I didn't know his short legs could go that fast! Dorothy's never gonna catch 'im now.

Hilde: [off camera] Umm...Trowa, aren't you going to do something?

Trowa: [off camera] Hmm. Normally, I would. But maybe he'll remember this the next time he wants to perm my lions.

[Still recording the sound of Quatre screaming, the camera switches off]

***

[Black and white camera switches on, and now the pilots are walking in front among trees. Duo is looking around nervously while Wufei follows a compass. Trowa has his arm around Quatre, who is trying to support a limp. The little blonde looks exhausted and beat up.]

Duo: [moaning] Are we there yet?

Wufei: [sound of gritting teeth] For the millionth time, no! Just shut up and keep your eyes open!

Quatre: [keeps glancing back nervously] Are you sure we've lost her?

Hilde: [off camera] I'm pretty sure. She doesn't strike me as the outdoors type. [camera pans over towards a strange clearing] Hey...is that a cemetery over there?

Duo: [jumps into view, looking kinda freaked out] Whaat!?

Trowa: [off camera] It would appear so. It looks like one of the old colonial cemeteries. Must be a historical site.

Duo: [tugging nervously on his braid] Look at those gravestones! They're all...all...

Hilde: [camera zooms on the little gravestones] [off camera] Children. Almost all of those graves are of children. How sad.

Trowa: [off camera] When a disease struck villages in those days, it could wipe out all the elderly and children within a season. Very tragic.

Duo: [wailing] Or when a witch kills every kid in the county!!!!

Hilde: [exasperated sigh off camera] [camera pans back up to Duo] Duo, they weren't killed by a witch. These things just happen sometimes. You should know that better than any of us.

Duo: [just bows his head and looks away]

Hilde: [off camera] [whispers under breath] Damn... [louder] Sorry Duo, that was uncalled for.

[camera pauses on him for a minute, then looks away towards Wufei]

Wufei: [looks at the camera, then turns and walks away] Let's keep moving. Remember, Heero's waiting for us out there.

[camera turns back towards Duo, and moves towards him before switching off in static]

***

[color camera switches on, taking in a view of the setting sun over the trees. It pans down to where everyone has collapsed on the ground]

Wufei: Maybe we should just camp out here for the night.

Quatre: [crumpled against Trowa] Good idea. Heero must be further out than we thought.

Duo: [whimpers off camera] You mean we're stopping HERE!? For the NIGHT!? Are you all nuts!?

Hilde: [stands and tries to take the camera away] Duo, it'll be fine, we're all together here. Now come help me make camp, okay?

Duo: [off camera] But, but...!

Hilde: [holds up a bag of marshmellows with a grin] S'mores!

[camera switches off abruptly]

***

[color camera switches on in a burst a static to almost complete darkness. (I know it's the color camera, because I'm the author. =p ) Despite how dark it is, you can barely make out that it is the inside of a rather large tent. A tent with faintly visible circus stripes on it. There are two visible sleeping bags. There is a faint rustling sound next to the camera.]

Hilde: [whispering off camera] Duo...? What are you doing?

Duo: [whispering off camera] Shh...do you hear it, Hilde? 

Hilde: [yawns off camera] You're hearing things again. Come back to bed... [there is more rustling]

Duo: [purrs slightly off camera] Have anymore marshmellows?

[The camera drops slightly as Duo and Hilde are heard giggling and there is more rustling of fabric.]

[Then there's silence, as a strange unidentifiable sound comes from outside the tent.]

Duo: [off camera in a shaken voice] Well, did you hear THAT, then!?

[A dark head pops up from one of the sleeping bags.]

Quatre: [in sleepy muffled voice] What's going on...

[More sounds come from outside the tent. This time they sound like voices.]

Quatre: [hugs onto Trowa, who also pops out from the sleeping blanket] There's someone out there! Allah, please please don't let it be her...!

Trowa: Huh...? Is it Heero?

[The voices are heard again, and everyone is silenced with fear.]

Wufei: [looks out of his own sleeping bag] Well...it does kinda sound like Heero...

Duo: [whispers off camera] Well...then someone go out and check.

[No one moves.]

Trowa: Why would Heero be wandering around out in the middle of the dark?

Quatre: Well...if it's Heero we're talking about...

Wufei: Okay. So...

[More silence.]

Duo: [off camera] Well, I'm here protecting Hilde! One of you guys should go out and make sure Heero's okay. He probably doesn't know it's us.

[There's yet more silence.]

Duo: [off camera] Well?

Trowa: Uh...I'll stay and protect Quatre.

Quatre: Err, yeah, and I need to protect Trowa.

Duo: [groans off camera] Fine. Wufei...

Wufei: [overly loud snoring]

Hilde: [off camera] I've never seen anyone fall asleep that fast.

[Still silence.]

Duo: [off camera sigh] Oh, to hell with it. Heero probably likes livin' like an animal anyway. We'll see if he's still out there in the mornin'. [The camera is set down and there's the sound of rustling and zippers]

[There's the sound of Hilde making a purring noise right before someone remembers to switch off the camera with a jolt.]

***

[Black and white camera switches on to the woods in the morning. Quatre is standing around looking for a place to plug in his electric teapot. Panning over, Wufei is doing his morning exercises, while Trowa combs his hair nearby. The camera pans back to the tent entrance, where Duo is sitting rebraiding his hair.]

Hilde: [off camera] Mornin' good lookin'.

Duo: [looks up and grins] Same to you. 

Hilde: [off camera] Have you seen any sign of Heero yet? 

Wufei: [off camera] Not I. [camera pans over to look at him] But if Heero is out there, then it is strange that he has not yet shown himself. There is no doubt that he would know it is us by now. 

Duo: [off camera] Unless it wasn't really Heero. [camera pans back to Duo, who finishes tying up his braid and stands, dusting himself off] Sure, it sounded like Heero...[his eyes narrow] But if that witch can possess you...

[A collective groan is heard.]

Duo: [with wide asking eyes] Whaaaaat?

Trowa: [off camera, a bit muffled] Please, Duo, don't start with the witch business again.

Quatre: [off camera] Weird.

[Camera pans around to see Quatre looking down at something on the ground. The camera moves over towards him.]

Hilde: [off camera] What is it?

Quatre: [points to the ground.] Well...rocks. But they're all neatly stacked.

[Camera focuses on a pile of smooth white stones arranged in a pile]

Trowa: [off camera] ....Must be some sort of natural formation.

[Camera spins around in time to catch Duo's incredulous expression towards Trowa] 

Duo: Natural formation!? Come ON Trowa! Someone put these rocks here like this! Probably whatever it was that was makin' those noises last night!

Wufei: [off camera] Maybe Heero is trying to tell us something?

Duo: It's NOT Heero! I'm telling you, that witch is messing with us! Hell, it's probably already too late to save Heero!

Quatre: [off camera sound of rocks being moved] Duo, you need to calm down. Panicking won't get us anywhere. We should get moving unless we want to spend another night out here.

[Duo is glaring at the ground the entire time now.]

Wufei: [sounds of walking away off camera, muttering, crossing the camera briefly as he goes.] 

[Camera pans over to Trowa, who turns to go back into the tent. Then switches off.]

***

[Color camera snaps on, focusing on a huge rock in the middle of the woods. Hilde is climbing on it. She waves back at the camera.]

Duo: [off camera in a strained voice] Hilde, I really wish you'd get offa that thing... It's probably the one Dorothy was telling us about... Y'know with the mutilated soldiers and all... [the camera shuddered]

Hilde: [shakes her head at him] Duo, I can't believe you're actually taking Dorothy seriously. It's just a big rock. [she hops off]

Quatre: [off camera] Yeah...but for some reason that rock gives me the creeps. [camera pans over to Quatre looking at the rock uneasily] 

Wufei: [off camera] It's just post-Dorothy trauma, Quatre.

[camera starts to move, then switches off in a storm of static]

***

[Black and white camera switches on, and night is beginning to fall once more. There is angry shouting piercing the air. The camera pans over to where Wufei and Duo are threatening each other with actual physical harm.]

Duo: Dammit Wufei, give me the *bleep* compass!!!

Wufei: I will not! I know what direction we've been going in, and you don't! The only reason we haven't found Heero's crash site yet is because the site estimate we left with was obviously off the mark!

Duo: [seething] Well, isn't that just a fine little excuse! Fact is, Wufei, you haven't a clue where the hell we're really going! And now we're going to have to spend another night in this cursed wood because of it! [he almost went at Wufei, only to be held back by Trowa]

Wufei: [yelling] Let him go, Trowa! If he wants to be a fool, I'll teach him a fool's lesson!!!

Quatre: [off camera before marching over and shoving Duo and Wufei roughly aside] QUIET! You're both acting like fools! [he pulls the map out of his vest and shoves it at Duo] Here, if you want to know where we're going, you handle the map! Now let's get camp set up before it gets any darker.

Duo: [takes the map grudgingly and shoves himself away from Trowa] [Walking off, his eyes turn and find the camera watching him.] Hilde, what are you doing? [he looks and sounds more than a little irritated.]

Hilde: [off camera] I dunno... I guess the camera helps me feel a little more secure. 

Duo: [sighs and his expression softens as he walks over. The camera view goes over his shoulder and and rests on an angled view of the trees] [off camera Duo murmurs] Sorry, babe. This is just gettin' me all highstrung.

Hilde: [off camera sighs softly] I think we all need some sleep.

[Camera clicks off]

*** 

[Color camera snaps to life, wobbling violently for a moment. All the others in the tent are sitting up with their eyes wide in the dark.]

Duo: [off camera] [hisses] What IS that!??

[Trowa and Quatre are clinging to each other, and Wufei has edged as close to middle of the tent as possible. Outside, strange cries and laughter can be heard.]

Hilde: [off camera, quiet, but loud, as if right by the microphone] It kinda sounds like children... [the camera trembles]

Duo: [off camera] Yeah...tykes from hell!

Trowa: [looking very weary] So much for sleep...

[camera slips, and flips once, catching a shot of a spooked looking Duo clutching onto Hilde like a frightened child before the impact shuts it off.]

***

[Color camera switches on. It's daylight again, and the camera pans across a mess of scattered clothing, supplies, and equipment.]

Duo: [off camera] Trowa, no raccoon did this...

Trowa: [camera pans to an amazingly disheveled looking Trowa] Yes, raccoons. Maybe you grew up in the city, but I didn't. And raccoons can get into anything. They must have been after Quatre's chocolate chip cookies.

Hilde: [perks up somewhere off camera] Wha...Quatre had cookies!? Why you...little hold out! I didn't know you were hording cookies!

Quatre: [laughs nervously somewhere off camera]

Duo: [off camera] No way, I've still got two packs of marshmellows left, and no raccoons went anywhere near my stuff! In fact...this is ALL Quatre's stuff! Why did a wild animal make sure only to go through his things??

Trowa: [walks off camera] Drop it, Duo.

Duo: [off camera, following Trowa persistently] And what about all that freaky slime crud all over it?? That's witch slime if I ever saw any!

Quatre: [off camera] Oh geez...it's like someone went and sneezed all over it...yuck.

Trowa: [stops running from the camera] Look, I don't know what it is. But I'm pretty sure it isn't witch slime. [he frowns ever so slightly] And would you please stop with the taping? You and Hilde carrying those around everywhere is getting creepier than the night noises.

Duo: [off camera] Hey, if we die out here, at least we'll have a record of our last hours. And I'm pretty damned sure raccoons don't sound like whatever was out there last night.

[camera cuts off]

***

[cut to black and white camera moving over the ground]

Hilde: [off camera] Guys...come over here.

[sound of footsteps as the camera settles on six bundles of tied sticks]

Duo: [off camera] Admit it Trowa, somethin's goin' on here...

Trowa: [is silent]

Wufei: [off camera] What does it mean?

Quatre: [pulls the camera up and looks right into it sternly] It means we keep moving. [he reaches out and turns the camera off himself]

***

[black and white camera switches on and focuses on a very nervous Wufei, who is frantically tossing the contents out of his backpack. If looks could kill, the God of Death would have had claim over the chinese pilot in a second.]

Wufei: It was here!!! I swear it was here!

Duo: [puts a hand to his head, seeming to try to contain his anger] Wufei...where. the. hell. is. the. compass...!??

Wufei: [sweating bullets] I...I...don't know! It must still be back at the campsite! Maybe the raccoons got into my backpack too, I just don't know!

Duo: [takes a very very deep breath and stalks out of view]

Quatre: [sighs] We can't go back for it. We'll just have to keep track of the sky. Don't worry about it Wufei, these things just happen.

Wufei: [shakes his head and just starts putting things back into his backpack]

Hilde: [off camera] This IS kinda creepy. 

Trowa: [looks at the camera] Nothing to worry about. The compass is a convient tool, but we can navigate without it. As long as we have the marked map, we should do fine.

Hilde: [off camera] I suppose your right. I just can't wait until this is all over, and we can laugh about how spooked we all got over this silly stuff.

Trowa: [smiles slightly and nods]

[camera cuts to static and shuts off]

***

[color camera switches on in almost pitch black inside the tent. There is no moon out this night.]

Duo: [whispers off camera] Whatever it is...it's right outside the tent this time. [camera is shaking]

Wufei: Shhh!

Quatre: It sounds like an old woman cackling...

Trowa: This is crazy.

Hilde: [stands and pulls herself away from under the camera] That's it, I've had it! [she pulls on her shoes and steps out of the tent.]

Duo: [off camera] Hilde!

[camera falls and shuts off]

***

[color camera jolts to life again, focusing first on a flashlight beam on the grass, and then over at Hilde's illuminated face in the dark]

Hilde: [points to the darkness ahead] I saw something moving out there, Duo. [she had a haunted look on her face]

Duo: [shaking off camera, pans around] I don't see anything...

[sound of rustling behind them, and the camera pans briefly to see Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei step out of the tent. Wufei is wearing his teddybear pajamas, which causes Duo to burst into laughter for a moment]

Wufei: [glares] Shut up, Maxwell.

[camera pans over the darkness while the flashlight moves around. Suddenly the camera begans waving around wildly, then begans jolting around wildly accompanied by the sounds of running.]

Hilde: [off camera] Over here! It went this way!

Duo: [off camera] This is nuts! Don't go so fast, it's hard to see where you're going! [swears briefly at the same time the camera pans around again wildly in the grass] What the hell was that!?

Hilde: [off camera] You saw it too?

Duo: [off camera] Whatever it was...

Trowa: [off camera] Maybe a rabb--

Quatre: [off camera sounding a bit hysterical] Trowa, that thing wasn't a rabbit!!!

Wufei: [hissing off camera] Damndest big rabbit I ever saw...

Quatre: [voice wavering off camera] Guys, I really don't want to be out here anymore... 

Duo: [off camera] Me either, I forgot my shoes, and the stickers in this grass are killing my feet...

[a shrill laugh that one could only guess was feminine rose around them]

[camera jolts sharply trying to find something in the pitch blackness]

Hilde: [in camera view] Where the hell is camp!???

[Duo's hand reaches in camera view and takes Hilde's]

Duo: [off camera] Let's stick together and backtrack reeeal slow...

[camera switches off]

***

[color camera switches to life, moving unsteadily from out of the tent flaps into the morning air. There's the sound of someone yelling. First the camera focuses on a small pile of rocks sitting right in front of the tent. Then pans up. Trowa is out in the distance yelling like a madman.]

Duo: [mumbles off camera] Wha...

[a very frightened Hilde comes into view]

Hilde: Duo, Quatre's gone!

Duo: [off camera] WHAT!?? What do you mean he's gone!?

Hilde: [wrings the bottom of her sweater] I just mean, he's gone! Trowa got up first, and he says Quatre was just gone from the tent! 

Wufei: [camera pans around wildly, settling on Wufei] And if he's out here, he isn't answering us. [Wufei is actually trembling] Whatever was out there last night...

Duo: [off camera] Oh God...the witch got Quatre! 

Hilde: [is in view of the camera now, yet quiet]

Duo: [pans off to Trowa, who has fallen to his knees in the distance] Quatre's stuff that was all over the place yesterday morning...that slime stuff... It...it was targeting him...wasn't it?

Hilde: [off camera] What are we going to do?

Wufei: [muffled off camera] We need to do a through search. Maybe he's just wandered too far off to hear us.

Hilde: [briefly back on camera] Yea--

[camera clicks off]

***

[Black and white camera snaps on with static]

Duo: [sitting with his hands between his knees on camera, looking very scared] Quatre...he's really gone, isn't he?

Hilde: [off camera] Wherever he is, he's not here...

Wufei: [off camera] Now what?

[a very somber looking Trowa walks in view of the camera] 

Trowa: We keep moving. Only pick up what we really need, forget the Wing Zero components. If we do find Heero, or Quatre, we're just getting the hell out of here. We can't handle whatever's following us by ourselves.

Duo: [looks up at Trowa] We aren't actually leaving him...?

Trowa: [squeezes his eyes shut and walks towards the tent] We have no other choice. We can't help him in our condition. And he'd want us to keep going.

[camera pans over to Trowa kicking aside the new stack of rocks in front of the tent before going inside]

Hilde: [off camera sigh]

Duo: [off camera in a quiet voice] Hilde babe... 

Wufei: [sound of walking off camera] You heard him. [mumbles] Let's go.

[camera pans over towards a now standing sad Duo and shuts off]

***

[color camera switches on, filming something swinging from a tree branch. It appears to be sticks wrapped together in the shape of an eerie little stick figure man. Like an evil version of the person sign on bathroom stalls.]

Duo: [off camera can be heard breathing heavily as the camera rattles] [whispers under his breath] Oh heaven help us...[out loud] Guys! Check this thing out!

[camera backs away from the tree as Hilde and Wufei gather around to look up at it. Wufei reaches up and pulls it down to examine it.]

Wufei: This is just twisted. Trowa, come take a look at this.

[camera pans over to Trowa, who has his back turned to the camera, sitting by himself off in the distance. He doesn't respond.]

[the camera pans back towards the tent briefly, which is partially taken down.]

[camera is shaking]

Duo: [voice rising off camera] Quatre...

[Wufei walks towards the tent as the camera shuts off]

***

[black and white camera statics to life, looking down at a small running creek babbling through the woods. The camera pans in front to where Duo, Trowa, and Wufei are walking.]

Wufei: [looks towards the creek.] I'm telling you, we're going in circles. We passed by this same spot yesterday.

Duo: We're not going in circles! We've been traveling in a straight line this entire time.

Hilde: [off camera] You have to admit, this place does look kinda familiar.

Duo: It's impossible to keep going in a straight line and end up going in circles! Unless you think we've walked across the world already.

Wufei: I know we've been here before! Look, let me see the map, Maxwell!

Duo: [grumbles] Look, we haven't been here before!

Wufei: [pauses briefly and points to a log in lying in the creek] See, that's the same fallen log we saw yesterday!! Maybe we have been going in a straight line, but we're still going nowhere!

Trowa: [stops with a sigh and turns to Duo] Let me see the map, Duo. I just want to look at it.

Duo: Why can't you guys just take my word on this? 

Trowa: [looks at Duo suspiciously] Duo...give me the map.

Duo: [walks off the trail with an angry expression] 

Wufei: Come back here!

[camera chases after Duo, with following footsteps crunching in the leaves]

Hilde: [tersely off camera] Duo, just let us see the map! 

Duo: [sitting on the ground with his head lowered and hands between his knees] [dead kinda voice] I don't have the map.

Wufei: [off camera] Wha...What!??

Duo: It's just gone, okay?

Trowa: [off camera] What do you mean...GONE?

Duo: [glares up at them] I threw it in the creek yesterday, okay!? After Wufei lost the stupid compass, I threw the map into the creek. I didn't see the point of it. After all, like Wufei's just noticed, we aren't going anywhere. That witch is never letting us out of these woods.

Wufei: [off camera] You bastard! You've killed us all! [screams] You BASTARD!!!

Trowa: [off camera] [makes a muffled sound and there's the sound of crunching leaves.]

Hilde: [off camera in a broken voice] How...how could you...?

Duo: [lowers his head further and slips his hands behind his neck] [mumbles] We're already dead.

[camera lowers to a view of Hilde's shoes, then switches off]

***

[color camera switches on, taking in a view of a large area of sparsely scattered trees that have a golden tint to them from the setting sun behind them. From the highest and lowest branches hang stick men of various sizes like evil christmas ornaments. For at least a mile around, the stick men sway about. The camera is moving around in wild erratic jerks.]

Duo: [repeating off camera, hyperventilating] This is not happening...this is not happening...this is NOT happening...!!!!!

[the camera moves in on Wufei, who is staring bug-eyed up at the stickmen. The camera pans up to see a horrific human-sized stickman made of bundles and bundles of sticks suspended up in the trees, bathed in an unholy beam of sunlight.]

Wufei: [off camera in a frightened voice] There's no more doubt...whoever's following us...it's some sort of psychopath!

Hilde: [camera turns in a blur to see her staring around] It's gotta be someone from the town, someone who knew we were coming out here... God, this is so sick...

Duo: [off camera under his breath] Ritualistic killings... Why the hell didn't we just ignore Relena and bring mobile suits...? 

[camera pans from Hilde to Trowa who is pulling down every stickman he can reach and smashing it underfoot.]

Trowa: [looking around wildly] WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!??? SHOW YOURSELF, DAMN YOU!!!!

Hilde: [off camera] Great...just great. We're lost in the woods, and there's a psycho stalking us. Just perfect.

[There's the sound of Duo making some kind of moaning noise before the camera switches off.]

***

[color camera switches on. It's dusk, and Trowa, Wufei, and Hilde are sitting around eating what's left of the marshmellows.]

Duo: [off camera] Man, I'm thirsty. If I had any idea we were going to be out here this long, I woulda packed more water.

Wufei: [doesn't look up] If I had any idea any of this was going to happen, I would have stayed home. I wonder if Sally is even going to notice I'm missing.

Duo: [off camera] By the time people start missing us, it'll probably already be too late. 

[there is silence for about a minute]

Trowa: [getting up and walking past the camera] No one make a fire. We don't want to draw any attention to ourselves tonight. [the sound of fabric rustling.]

Hilde: [nibbles another marshmellow] [mumbles] I want to take a shower so bad...

[camera clicks off]

***

[black and white camera turns on switching from static to pitch black. There are muffled voices, and the sound of someone screaming far off.]

[It's too dark inside the tent to see anyone this time. There's the sound of Hilde's terrified rapid breathing.]

Wufei: [harsh whisper] No one goes anywhere tonight! Stay awake!

Trowa: [in a trembling voice] God, it's Quatre! Why is he screaming like that!???

[screaming is louder now, definitely Quatre's voice.]

Duo: [tensely] Don't trust what you hear Trowa. That witch can possess people, remember? She's trying to trick us into going out there again.

Hilde: But it sounds like Quatre's in trouble! If that really is him out there, how can we not help him!?

Duo: I want to help Quatre, Hilde, but if that's a witch out there, there's nothing we can do!

Trowa: [grumbles] I'm not going to sit here the whole night hearing him suffer. [rustling sounds, a zipper, and then the sound of canvas.]

Wufei: Trowa, you fool, don't go out there!!!

[A moment later, everything falls silent. There is only the sound of Duo, Wufei, and Hilde breathing for a few minutes.]

Hilde: [quietly] The screaming stopped.

[camera clicks off]

***

[black and white camera turns on, filming a tied bundle of sticks. A very slight pan shows it's near the side of the tent. There's very low lighting in the early morning, and the camera picks up the cameraperson's shuddering breath in both sound and in the visual of icy clouds.]

Hilde: [off camera in a tiny voice] Not another one... [reaches out with her hand and picks at the little bundle of sticks]

[Her hand unwraps the bundle of sticks, to reveal a strange mixture inside. a strange thick red glob. Hilde's breath can be heard quickening in fright. In the red glob are strands of platinum blonde hair and a piece of pink fabric.]

Hilde: [off camera] Oh...!

[camera swerves abruptly, and there's sounds of retching before it clicks off on impact with the ground.]

***

[color camera switches on and leaves the tent. It immediately focuses on two stacks of rocks set in front of the tent. The camera sways slightly as it moves forward.]

Duo: [off camera] Man, I'm tired... I swear, I'm never going to sleep again... [camera shows Duo's foot kicking the two rock piles over.] Trowa? Hilde? You guys out here?

[camera pans over to where Hilde is sitting on the ground looking sick.]

Duo: [off camera as it approaches Hilde] Babe? You feelin' okay?

Hilde: [sighs] As well as I can be. Trowa's gone, Duo. He never came back. [she seems to start saying something else for a moment, then stops.]

Duo: [off camera] Trowa... [in an angry voice] I never thought I'd be goin' out like this...dammit, I was supposed to die in battle, or something cool like that! This...this...ARGH!

[the camera falls to the leaves, catching Duo pacing around. At the sound of Hilde sobbing, he looks over with a sigh and walks past the camera.]

Duo: [off camera] Shhh...

Wufei: [off camera] I told him not to go...that fool. [crunching leaves] 

[camera shuts off]

***

[color camera switches on and focuses on Wufei, with a meadow backdrop]

Duo: [off camera] Hey, smile for the camera, Wufei! 

Wufei: [glares]

Duo: [off camera] C'mon now...you're gonna die! Tell me how ya feel about that? Ever get to go to Disneyworld, Wufei? I mean, you can't visit the Earth and not go to Disneyworld at least once!

Hilde: [camera pans to her][sigh] Stop it, Duo.

Duo: [off camera] Howabout you, Hilde? Anything you wanna get off your chest? [evil chuckle] Hell, let's just take it all off right here and now! It's not like we're going to have a chance to regret it or anything! [the camera shuffles slightly, and a black shirt and priest collar is seen flying past Hilde to the grass]

Hilde: [turns bright red]

Wufei: [off camera] Dammit Maxwell, put your shirt back on!

[camera snaps over towards Wufei]

Duo: [off camera] Look Wufei, I don't know about you, but I don't wanna die a virgin, is that okay with you!??

Wufei: You're really disgusting, you know that!?? 

Duo: [off camera] Prude!!

Wufei: [pause]...You're a virgin?

Duo: [off camera] Oh, shut up, Wufei!

Hilde: [off camera] Duo, would you please calm down! This sort of behavior isn't going to help any.

Duo: [off camera] God, Hilde, don't act like you don't see! We're all gonna die! Might as well make the best of it! That's the way I've always lived, and I'm not gonna stop now.

Hilde: [camera pans to her] Duo, I think you're just a little hysterical.

Duo: [off camera] Hey babe, this is just how the God of Death deals with this sorta situation. Now, do you want to live your last hours in misery, or having some fun?

[Wufei is heard making a gagging noise as Hilde smirks and reaches out to turn off the camera]

***

*Censored footage - Cinq Kingdom Black Woods police division has marked this CLASSIFIED* *See Division Form #2H for details*

***

[black and white camera turns up on a close up of Wufei lying back with his eyes closed in the grass under a tree]

Hilde: [off camera] C'mon Wufei, it's gonna be dark soon, you hafta get up so we can keep moving!

Wufei: [not opening his eyes] Look, since everyone here is just embracing the horror, I might as well do the same. I'm tired, I can't remember the last time I got any decent sleep. Go on if you want, but I'm staying here and taking a nap.

Duo: [off camera] Wufei...!

Wufei: [frowns a bit] Go away Maxwell. You two had your little fling, now let me rest.

Duo: [mumbles off camera]

Hilde: [off camera] Can't you at least wait a little while? This is too open to be stopping here.

Duo: [off camera] Let 'im do what he wants. 

[camera flickers off]

***

[color camera switches on, filming the setting sun]

Duo: [off camera] Well, there goes the sun again. Wonder if any of us will ever see it again... Looks like we're still bein' followed...found four more of those rock piles nearby in the field... I swear it looked like a cemetery.

[camera turns at the sound of running. Hilde is coming towards the camera with a frightened look]

Hilde: I can't find Wufei!

Duo: [off camera] What? The sun hasn't even gone all the way down yet!

Hilde: [practically runs into the camera to push against Duo] W-What are we going to do now? First Quatre, then Trowa, now Wufei... Which of us is going to be next?

Duo: [off camera] Let's...just make camp, alright? [soft smacking sound]

[camera switches off]

***

[color camera switches on. It's very dark, except for a tiny light from somewhere near the camera. There is an extreme close up on Duo's face, his wide terrified violet eyes filled with tears. As Duo shakes, there is a brief glimpse of him holding a small silver cross to his lips.]

Duo: [choked up voice] I'm hoping that someone finds these tapes...so someone will know what happened to us... There's something out there, right now. I envy Hilde...she's finally fallen asleep. I'm never going to sleep again, I'm sure of it. I...I'm sorry I asked her along. We've become closer because of it, but she doesn't deserve this. I'm sorry Hilde...I'm so sorry. You know I love you...but what good does that do us now?

[Duo pauses and his breathing becomes heavier with fear as a strange voice comes from outside.]

Duo: [gulps] I'm sorry I threw the map away...who knows, maybe, just maybe we would have found a way out of this if we'd still had that map. I'm sorry about getting them all killed. I tend to have that sort of effect on people...why I'm called the God of Death. 

[Duo's eyes flicker to the side briefly and turn back to the camera. His breath is coming in shudders]

Duo: I'm sorry Quatre...sorry your sisters will probably never know what happened to you. It must really suck to die that young when you're filthy rich...and such a nice guy. I'm sorry Trowa...never did pay back that money I owed you. I'm sorry Wufei...I know you never got the chance to beat the hell out of me that you wanted.

[wailing noise comes from outside, and Duo's eyes actually widen]

Duo: And...I'm so so very sorry for never finding you Heero. God...you've been out here longer than any of us. I can only wonder what you went through, but I hope you didn't suffer long. [whispers] And I really am sorry for that time I put superglue on Wing Zero's pilot seat. Really. [sobs]

[rustling of fabric as the camera shifts slightly, but still centered on Duo]

Duo: And to anyone else whom it may concern...I love you, man! [sobs uncontrollably] I'm scared...I'm so SCARED!

[camera begins to fade out]

Duo: [low whisper to himself] Damn, I need a tissue bad...

[camera switches off]

***

[black and white camera switches on. It is still night, and the camera turns briefly to look at Duo, then where he's looking at the darkness.]

[outside someone is screaming, it sounds as if it's somewhere very nearby.]

Duo: [off camera in a frightened voice] That's definitely Heero!

Hilde: [off camera] I...I wish it would just go away! It sounds like he's in pain!

[suddenly the canvas of the tent starts moving violently, as if something is trying to shake it down or rip into it. The camera swings around out of control as Duo and Hilde start screaming. It blurs all over the place in a sickening way.]

***

[cut to color camera moving fast and jerking all over the place. The woods at night are barely visible even with the help of an unseen flashlight. Just up ahead, Hilde is running very fast. Both Duo and Hilde can be heard screaming hysterically.]

Hilde: [is screaming in a fit of unlistable profanity] What the *beeeep* was that!??? What the *beeeeep*!!????

Duo: [off camera] Don't stop! Keep going! I don't know, but I think it might be chasing us!!!

[camera is bouncing all over, slipping occasionally to only views of either Hilde or Duo's running feet, or the grass below.]

***

[cut to black and white camera]

[nothing can be seen but pitch blackness and a bit of light shining into it.]

Hilde: [hisses off camera] Put out that light!

[light switches off]

Duo: [off camera] ...It's going to play with us...damn, because we're the last ones. There's no way we can go back to the tent now. ...AAAHHH!!! It's got my braid!!!

Hilde: [off camera] SHH! That's just me! C'mon...

[camera goes off]

***

[color camera switches on. It is still dark, and the camera is looking at a big pink two-story cabin in the middle of the woods. It looks old, deserted, and creepy in the illumination of only the flashlight]

Duo: [off camera] Babe...if this is what I think it is, I think we've come in the wrong direction.

[camera settles momentarily on a pink flamingo lawn ornament in front of the cabin]

Duo: [mutters off camera] You've gotta be kiddin' me...

Hilde: [walks in front of the camera carrying her own camera and flashlight] It's almost morning, we just need to hide out a little while longer. Come on, it looks too much like some sorta abandoned love shack to be some evil killer's cabin. Or a witch lair even.

[camera follows reluctantly]

Duo: [off camera] For the record, I think this is a really bad idea. ...Of course, I thought this whole trip was a bad idea...

[sound of creaking wood as Hilde opens the door and the camera follows her inside the dusty dark cabin. The camera follows her as she wanders around. Suddenly, the unmistakable sound of Heero screaming starts up again.]

Duo: [gasps off camera] It's Heero! And it's coming from upstairs!

[camera goes racing up the stairs]

Hilde: [off camera] Duo wait!!!

[camera pauses briefly to stare at the red handprints all over the walls]

Duo: [breathes off camera] What in the hell...?

[suddenly there's the sound of Heero screaming again]

Hilde: [off camera] Huh? Now it's coming from the basement!

[the camera rushes past Hilde and down the stairs faster than she can keep up]

Hilde: [far behind] Hey, wait! Duo!!!

[camera swings around blurring from one dark image to another, flashing to a dark pale pink door. Duo's hand goes out and opens it. The camera then looks at long winding staircase leading downward. There's the sound of Heero's rising screams and Duo's rushing footfalls.]

Duo: [off camera] Heero! It's me, Heero!

[the camera swings from the staircase view into the basement, where a brief blurry motion is seen in a corner a split second before the camera is dropped to a view of Duo's shoes. The flashlight falls crashing to the ground as Duo gasps in shock.]

Duo: [off camera] Sweet Sister Helen!!! My eyes!!!!

[undetermined male voice on fuzzy audio]: Omae o korosu!!!!

[then the camera collides suddenly with the ground its aiming at and the camera goes out]

***

[black and white camera moves jerkily through the house trying to find Duo]

Hilde: [off camera] Duo! Where are you Duo!??

[camera looks towards the open door and looks down a long winding set of stairs. It seems to pause for a moment then rushes down, Hilde can actually be heard shivering as she descends into the darkness with her flashlight]

Hilde: [off camera] Duo, please say something!! Please!!

[There is no response, and when she reaches the bottom of the stairs, the camera turns and looks into one side of the basement. In the far corner, a boy wearing black with a long chestnut braid is standing quietly facing the corner wall with his back to her. He does not reply when Hilde calls out to him.]

Hilde: [off camera] Du--!

[as the camera starts to move forward, there is a sudden loud noise, and a flash of pink. The camera crashes against the floor, the broken lens the last thing it records before it goes dead.]

..............


End file.
